When Love Dies
by Xiaolink Volumen
Summary: God, I hate this title... explains it nicely, though... XemnasxSaix


A/N: Heh… look, I changed my main pairing… I had to, what with all the plot twists of KH2… (Shrugs) I know I originally said this would be Ansem/Sephiroth, but... >. ;;

AU, Xemnas/Saïx. Here's hoping I can make someone cry. (Laughs obnoxiously)

-When Love Dies-

The harsh wind lashed and howled over the barren landscape, whistling and screeching like a wounded beast. The wind's eerie song echoed amongst the craggy rocks and peaks of the mountainous area, ghosting through massive canyons hundreds of metres deep into the planet's crust. The canyons soared into an inky darkness so complete their floors were hidden from view. An entire civilization could have existed within the abyss, completely hidden from the rest of the world.

Massive eagles nested in the rocky sides, their piercing cries adding to the wind. Few plants were in evidence, most species unable to exist in the dry, arid landscape. Lizards sunned themselves on the rocks, ignoring the wind as it threatened to lift their tiny bodies and hurl them into the cliffs, to either be smashed to pieces on the rocks or plucked out of the air by an eagle.

This was where he'd chosen to live, in this harsh climate that constantly reminded him of his relationship with the man who might have been his lover.

As it screeched through the rocks, the wind cruelly whipped and knifed through the clothing of the man standing at the edge of a chasm. It tossed and toyed relentlessly with his hair and coat, as if to rip them from his being and hurl them into the abyss. His eyes, seeming to see something other than the panorama before him, bore a haunted, sorrowful look, as if he'd suffered a great deal in a very short span of time. He was fingering a small glass vial, the tiny thing twisting and turning through his long fingers.

Filled with a fine grey powder, it hung from a thin leather cord around his neck. Typically it rested against his chest. He drew a shaky breath and let the vial fall back against his chest. He blinked, a tear sliding down his face, drying in the wind. He was dwelling again; he was dwelling on what couldn't be changed.

But he longed for times before, times when _he_ was still alive and by his side… times when he was still happy… or, rather, times when living didn't seem like so much of a great chore…

He missed him. Goddamn, he missed him. He missed him more than words could say.

He bit back a sob, fists clenching uncontrollably. He slowly fell to his knees, face twisted in anguish. He'd never said how he felt … never told him he loved him… until the end. At least the last words he heard were ones of love… A loud sob finally escaped past his lips, echoing grimly through the canyon.

In the howling of the wind, he could almost hear him… hear his voice… hear the voice he would never hear again. He would never again hear him calling his name, hear him telling him about the next assignment… And he would never, _never_ hear him say he loved him; hear him whispering words of affection in his ear as they lay side by side during the night; hear him gently whispering his name in the darkness, his beautiful face framed and lit by pale, wan moonlight…

He would never feel his touch. Never feel his lips upon his own. Never feel his body pressing against his in the night. Never feel his hand within his own. Never run his fingers through his hair. Never hold him, kiss him, tell him how much he loved him.

Their eyes would never meet only to look away just as quickly. He would never gaze lovingly at him as they embraced each other, touching their foreheads together fondly. He would never watch his graceful movements, simply loving him through his gaze.

Body wracked with harsh sobs, shoulders quaking with each pained gasp, he clenched his fists in the sand.

The sun had set by the time he'd stopped sobbing. His crying had subsided to a few small hiccups, but his heart was still heavy with despair. He shakily stood, wiping his eyes.

"My love… how can I go on living without you here by my side?" he murmured, voice hoarse from crying. "How can I go on living knowing that I'll never see you again, touch you, hold you… I love you… I love you… I wish I'd told you sooner, but… oh, my love…"

"_Xemnas! Get your ass over here!"_

"_Get out of it, Saïx… I'm tired, you know. That last mission was hell."_

"_Well, too bad. We've got another."_

"_Oh, no… not another… I'm still recovering from the last one! That prick… doesn't he know to give us a break?"_

"_Don't yell at me! It's not my fault!"_

"Oh, my love… I was so cold to you… I wish I'd told you…"

He moved closer to the edge of the canyon. "Saïx, my love…"

"_Goddamn it, Xemnas! Get off your ass and do something useful!"_

"_Fuck you, Saïx. Try and make me."_

He stood at the precipice, toes over the edge. Another tear fell from his eye to fall to the dusty ground.

"I was so cruel… I never once told you I loved you…" he murmured.

"_Xemnas! Come on, let's go!"_

"_Eh… do I have to?"_

"I loved your enthusiasm… your zest for life… the passion with which you infused everything you did…" he murmured. "You loved our job as mercenaries, even when it threatened to take your life. I was never that enthused about it… I never loved it as much as you did… never loved it as much as I loved you…"

_They had gone to the arranged spot… he was there, as he promised. And they had fought, the three of them._

"Your passion… was your downfall."

He choked as he spoke, another sob making its way to his lips and escaping.

_Their target was a dark mage who had been summoning creatures that no human ever should. The creatures were attacking everyone and everything, from the highest royal to the meanest beggar. No one was safe. So the leaders had hired Xemnas and Saïx, top mercenaries._

_It had been a mighty battle. Much of the surrounding landscape was destroyed, leaving the area barren. The battle had been leaning in the mercenaries' favour, but then the sorcerer summoned two of his creatures. They seized Xemnas and didn't let go._

_Saïx raced at the sorcerer, plainly intent on murder. But then the sorcerer lashed out with his sword, dealing Saïx a mighty blow across his chest._

_Xemnas watched it all._

_Helpless, he watched as Saïx's form limned a graceful arc through the air. He fought hard against the creatures and slew them both. He raced forward and caught Saïx before he hit the ground._

"_Saïx! Saïx!"_

_Saïx's eyes slowly cracked open._

"_Xemnas…" he murmured. He winced horribly. Xemnas held him close, not caring about the blood that soaked his clothes._

"_Don't talk," Xemnas choked. "We can find a doctor…"_

"_No… Xemnas, listen…" Saïx drew a shuddering breath. "I have to tell you… all this time… I loved you…"_

"_Oh, god…" Xemnas whispered, eyes filling with tears. "Saïx… I love you, too… please don't die!"_

_He had realized it then; holding Saïx's broken form close to him, he finally realized the nature of his feelings. Why it hurt so much to see Saïx injured, why he'd chosen to work with him in the first place. Why it was so important to him that Saïx was happy. Why it was so important to him that Saïx should not have fallen._

_Saïx reached up and touched Xemnas' cheek, leaving a bloody handprint._

"_Xemnas… so pretty…" he whispered. Xemnas hugged him close. "Please… kiss me… at least once…"_

_Xemnas bent low and kissed Saïx. They kissed as passionately as they could, knowing it was their first and last. Xemnas could taste blood in Saïx's mouth. Finally they drew back._

"_Saïx, please don't die…" Xemnas said, voice tightening. "How can I live without you? How can I go on with my life knowing you won't be by my side? I love you! Please… don't die…"_

_Saïx smiled, eyes closing. _

"_That… was cheesy… Xemnas… burn my… body… please…" he whispered, voice growing fainter and fainter. "I… love you…" Finally he breathed his last. Xemnas gazed down at him. He placed one last kiss upon his lips. Not a sob escaped as he gently, carefully, reverently laid his body down and stood. He faced the sorcerer with murder glinting from his eyes._

"_You… you've killed hundreds…" Xemnas croaked. "But… now you've done the unthinkable… you killed my love." The sorcerer never saw it coming. Xemnas raced up to him and slammed him against a rock._

"_YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED HIM!" he roared. "You killed the only one I've ever loved! You killed him! Now I'll kill you!"_

_Xemnas slammed the sorcerer into the rock again and again, not halting once, not even when the sorcerer's skull cracked open and blood and brains splattered the rock. Finally Xemnas stopped. He snapped the sorcerer's neck, though he knew he was already dead. _

_Xemnas moved back over to Saïx's still form. He dropped to his knees and finally started to cry. His heartrending sobs of anguish echoed through the blasted landscape. He thought his heart would shatter into millions of shards, thought he would never be happy again. Saïx had only been dead a couple of minutes, and Xemnas was already missing him terribly._

_He did as Saïx had asked him. He burned his body, but took a tiny vial and filled it with ash._

He held this vial now as he stood at the very edge.

"Saïx… We never had any time together…"

He slowly fell over the edge, clutching the tiny vial.

Two red eyes watched his fall.

-To be continued-

A/N: Hmm… quite literally a cliffhanger, no? (Laughs, muse smacks her for making such a poor joke) Ouch. Anyway… heh, I think I do better at angst than anything else. What's up with that?

Well, whatever. Don't worry about Xemnas; I have plans for him in the sequel. XD


End file.
